Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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