This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
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MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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