He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
