Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
