hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
