I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
This couple is walking their pig around campus
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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