My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
