I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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