Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
