Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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