you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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