dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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