but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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