yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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