I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
