Umm I'm too high to move.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
