Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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