I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So squirting runs in the family.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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