There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
