The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
