i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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