is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
