My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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