I think i peed on brittanys purse
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
FUCK WHALES
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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