Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
