I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
