I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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