What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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