I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
