Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
