fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
