Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the day after is always just damage control
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
