I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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