I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
