My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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