He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
