Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
