i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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