So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
