Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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