We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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