He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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