I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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