Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
