I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
