i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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