Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
