I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
