I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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