Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize