you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
