What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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