Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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