You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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