i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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