i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
