just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
