Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
