ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want to make a zoo with you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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