How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just had sex on a roof
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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