Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
