their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
