Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize