I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
