he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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