Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
