Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
